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No More Racing Gears

9/15/2014

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After the dentist inserted a titanium stud in my upper jaw to which he would eventually attach a newly fabricated tooth, I swore that I’d withhold smiles as best I could until after the new tooth was installed. 

I still had to bike home since I had a minimum of 70 miles of back roads in order to get to Waupun.  The dentist told me about a bicycle repair shop in Middleton that sold British Raleigh bikes.  He said it wasn't too far from University Hospitals.  Finding the store, I asked the owner if he could straighten out my front wheel. 

"Yes, I can do that," he said.  "What happened to you?"

"An accident," I said. 

"It's obvious from all that road rash, the stitches, a missing tooth.  Did you have a head on with a train?"

"No."

"I can see part of your problem," he said.  "You realize that bike is too big for you, don’t you?"

"No, I didn't know that."

"Yes, the top cross bar should be below a man's scrotum as he straddles the bike with both feet planted flat on the road." 

If that was the case, my bike was far too tall for me.  I had to tilt the bike sideways in order for the top bar to be low enough for me. 

Next, he pointed to my backpack.  "Carrying that thing will throw off your center of gravity.  Why don’t you use panniers to carry your gear?" 

"I don't even know what panniers are," I said. 

In the next ten minutes, he showed me a number of bicycle luggage carriers (panniers) he had for sale that are fitted to the sides of either the front or back wheel or both wheels at the same time. 

Since I didn't have the necessary cash on hand in order to buy them, I promised I'd return to his store before I'd take my next trip and purchase a set, which I did.

Of course, he wanted to know all the details of my trip.  When I told him about the shin splints, he asked me how I pedaled.

"I use the hardest gears possible," I said with drama.  "That way I don't have to pedal so much." 

"That's your problem.  You should use the gears that'll enable you to 'spin' the chain wheel ninety revolutions per minute.  Besides that, your rear sprockets are meant for racing, not touring.  You need much larger sprockets for touring and you should have three chain wheels up front.  All touring bikes should have Granny Gears."

"I never heard of such things," I said. 

"I know what I'm talking about."   He pointed to a number of framed 8x10 black and white glossy photographs on a nearby wall. 

I approached them.  "That you?" I pointed to a bicycle racer.

"Yup."  Apparently he had been a nationally recognized bicycle racer in his younger days. 

After that, I wanted to learn as much as I could about the art of cycling.  I didn't leave his shop until closing time.  That late afternoon, I biked an additional thirty five miles to the outskirts of Portage and stayed at a private campground.  The next day, I made it back to Waupun. 

I soon visited Waupun's bicycle shop owner and let him know what I had learned from the shop owner in Middleton, near Madison.  The Waupun owner knew all about that fellow. 

"He told me this bike's too tall for me.  Plus the gears are for racing, not touring."

"That's a matter of opinion, but I'll sell you one that fits the way you said you want it and I'll give you a good trade-in price." 

(From that point on, the Waupun cycle shop owner advised all males to purchase bikes with the top cross bars below their scrotum).

Because I knew it wouldn't do much to argue, it didn't take us long to forge the deal. 

In February, I returned to Middleton and purchased front and rear panniers from my "bike mentor," as I now called him.  He seemed pleased I had taken to heart his advice.  I even purchased a little computer that advised me how fast I was spinning the chain wheel. 

Life on the bike became more fun and adventurous than it had ever been.  I started cycling thirty-five miles each afternoon during warm weather months after I finished work and one hundred miles each weekend. 

It took me a while but I had laid out two different 50-mile round trips that a fellow from Madison had heard about.  He asked Waupun's bike shop owner about me.  After he phoned me, I agreed to take the stranger on both routes I had designed, all on back roads, with scenic diversity plus the addition of a few nice hills to climb. 

Nine months later, both mapped trips along with a narrative were in a book he had written and was selling.  The author, however, failed to give me any credit about his "A & B Horicon Marsh" trips.  Ah well, such is life.  Those trails are now found on numerous bike maps. 

For the next three summers, I took two-week summer vacations in order to ride the entire Wisconsin bike trail all the way each time to La Crosse and then bike back to Waupun, which totaled over 400 miles.  Naturally, I attempted to maintain a cadence of 90 rpm, even going up hills, except if the peaks were too steep.  No matter, I chose the easiest gears I could.  No more shin splints for me.  And no more racing gears. 

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